Snarky comments I'm saving for my last day...
Stupid Customer (drive-thru): I need a minute (and they proceed to take two or three)
Me: $2.89, drive thru please, thank you.
or I don't have a minute. Order now, bitch.
or Come inside if you don't know what you want.
or Put the damn cell phone down and order, already. You're not the center of the universe.
SC: I want one of everything
Me: You and every other lame-ass fool in the damn world.
SC who's been in line for several minutes already: I don't know what I want...
Me: Next!
SC: What kind of Blizzards do you have?
Me: All the kinds that are listed on the menu board right underneath where it says BLIZZARDS and has a big picture of the Blizzard of the month.
SC: Do y'all sell hamburgers here?
Me: Do you see them on the menu, dumbass?
SC: What comes with the value meal?
Me: Normally they come with fries and a drink. For you, I'll throw in a side of common sense for free.
SC: How many footlongs come with the value meal?
Me: How many do you see in the picture?
SC: What's in the Blizzard of the Month?
Me: The same ingredients that are listed right on the picture. Imagine that! We didn't change the recipe!
SC: I want a Blizzard.
Me: (long pause.) Okay, small Oreo it is. $3.00.
SC: I want a Brownie Earthquake with Oreos on it. Make sure you put Oreos on it, okay?
Me: Well, okay. But only because you asked so nicely (as I quietly charge them for extra Oreos, even though it comes with them).
SC: Nuts don't come up there?
Me: Sure don't, genius. Sucks to be you.
SC: I want a sundae.
Me: What size and what flavor?
SC: Chocolate.
Me: What size?
SC: What sizes do you have?
Me: Small, medium and large. That's why there's three different prices listed.
SC: I want a small. No, make it a medium.
Me: $2.44.
SC (at window): But I just wanted a chocolate sundae.
Me: This is a chocolate sundae.
SC: I wanted chocolate ice cream in a cup.
Me: No topping?
SC: No (looks at me like I'm retarded).
Me: Guess what--that's called a MEDIUM CUP OF CHOCOLATE, dumbass! Sundaes have toppings on them. And I'm not giving you your 44 cents back. I'll ring you up for a cup of chocolate ice cream and keep the difference to make up for having to deal with dimwits like you.
Me: Large Reese's. That'll be $4.23.
SC: (Takes top off Blizzard. Takes a bite, thus ensuring that we cannot sell it to someone else) But I wanted chocolate ice cream!
Me: Did you ask for chocolate ice cream when you ordered?
SC: No.
Me: Then I guess you'll have to buy another large Reese's, huh? Sucks for you. (slams window shut)
SC: Do you have orange sherbert/butter pecan ice cream/chili cheese fries/coffee/hot chocolate/salads?
Me: No, but we do have a special on clues today. You should get one!
Me: $2.89, drive thru please, thank you.
or I don't have a minute. Order now, bitch.
or Come inside if you don't know what you want.
or Put the damn cell phone down and order, already. You're not the center of the universe.
SC: I want one of everything
Me: You and every other lame-ass fool in the damn world.
SC who's been in line for several minutes already: I don't know what I want...
Me: Next!
SC: What kind of Blizzards do you have?
Me: All the kinds that are listed on the menu board right underneath where it says BLIZZARDS and has a big picture of the Blizzard of the month.
SC: Do y'all sell hamburgers here?
Me: Do you see them on the menu, dumbass?
SC: What comes with the value meal?
Me: Normally they come with fries and a drink. For you, I'll throw in a side of common sense for free.
SC: How many footlongs come with the value meal?
Me: How many do you see in the picture?
SC: What's in the Blizzard of the Month?
Me: The same ingredients that are listed right on the picture. Imagine that! We didn't change the recipe!
SC: I want a Blizzard.
Me: (long pause.) Okay, small Oreo it is. $3.00.
SC: I want a Brownie Earthquake with Oreos on it. Make sure you put Oreos on it, okay?
Me: Well, okay. But only because you asked so nicely (as I quietly charge them for extra Oreos, even though it comes with them).
SC: Nuts don't come up there?
Me: Sure don't, genius. Sucks to be you.
SC: I want a sundae.
Me: What size and what flavor?
SC: Chocolate.
Me: What size?
SC: What sizes do you have?
Me: Small, medium and large. That's why there's three different prices listed.
SC: I want a small. No, make it a medium.
Me: $2.44.
SC (at window): But I just wanted a chocolate sundae.
Me: This is a chocolate sundae.
SC: I wanted chocolate ice cream in a cup.
Me: No topping?
SC: No (looks at me like I'm retarded).
Me: Guess what--that's called a MEDIUM CUP OF CHOCOLATE, dumbass! Sundaes have toppings on them. And I'm not giving you your 44 cents back. I'll ring you up for a cup of chocolate ice cream and keep the difference to make up for having to deal with dimwits like you.
Me: Large Reese's. That'll be $4.23.
SC: (Takes top off Blizzard. Takes a bite, thus ensuring that we cannot sell it to someone else) But I wanted chocolate ice cream!
Me: Did you ask for chocolate ice cream when you ordered?
SC: No.
Me: Then I guess you'll have to buy another large Reese's, huh? Sucks for you. (slams window shut)
SC: Do you have orange sherbert/butter pecan ice cream/chili cheese fries/coffee/hot chocolate/salads?
Me: No, but we do have a special on clues today. You should get one!
posted by Hannah at 11:48 PM
2 comments
